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The game of life – Musing on the First Two Decades

Ugochukwu Chukwuma

Ugochukwu Chukwuma

7/8/2024 · 9 min read


After spending a little over two decades on this earth, I’ve begun to develop a personal approach to life – a philosophy, if you will. This philosophy is based on some observations which I thought to share today on my birthday.

Please keep in mind that these are simply my perspectives and are not absolute truths. If you find them intriguing, you may choose to consider them, but I believe they might be helpful as you navigate your own journey.

These thoughts are also subject to change as I encounter new experiences and evidence. So, I encourage you to read them with an open mind and form your own conclusions.

So let’s get into them, shall we?

Life is an unfair game

Mathematics defines a fair game as a game in which all the players have an equal chance of winning or losing. In contrast, life doesn’t offer such guarantees – yet so many people play it like it does.

We often believe that following a specific blueprint will yield identical results. However, the reality is that there are countless variables and external factors beyond our control in play that can make very similar experiments produce vastly different outcomes. So just because Mr. A achieved XYZ using a certain approach doesn’t mean that you will achieve XYZ too if you just do what Mr. A did.

Don’t get me wrong – following Mr. A’s approach might give you a good chance of achieving XYZ, but the results aren’t typical. Sometimes, outcomes can be so asymmetrical that they’re almost impossible to believe.

This is why others’ advice and opinions aren’t absolute. While advice can be valuable, remember that there is no one-size-fits-all solution. Each person’s journey is unique, and success often requires a personalized approach. The key is to be adaptable and open-minded, recognizing that everyone’s path is different.

Think of it this way, imagine success in life as a town square and everyone is trying to get there. Life places each person somewhere in the town randomly, and their journey involves reaching the town square. Some might start closer, others farther away, but that’s just the game. There are countless paths to the town square, and while one person might be lucky enough to find a bus to take them most of the way, others might have to walk the entire distance.

So the smartest doesn’t necessarily always win the race to the town square, nor does the fastest, like King Solomon rightly put it,

The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favour to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all.

Along the way, you may encounter obstacles and setbacks, much like a game of snakes and ladders. You might bump into unexpected challenges on your own path, making your journey more arduous or you might encounter some opportunities like the figurative “bus ride” that makes your journey more effortless – it doesn’t necessarily make you smarter than one who hasn’t gotten to the town square yet.

I’ve been thinking about this analogy for a while and I also realized you might decide not to get to the town square, you can just find somewhere in the town and camp there the entire time while everyone is trying to get to the town square – because the most interesting thing about this journey is that you are your own dictator, no one can stop you – so maybe I can still improve on this analogy but I believe it is sufficient for you to get the point I am trying to make today.

The work must be done so work hard and work on the right thing

It’s quite a norm in this day and age to say “I want a soft life” which is very valid but life I have noticed is a very balanced system, you can’t get without giving.

Most people you see and know living the “soft life” are people who have already put in the work and are reaping the benefits. So my dear, unless you were born into generational wealth, sit down and do the work. There’s actually a chance you will get lucky but do you really wanna wager your life on that 0.000001% chance of getting lucky? Well, if so then good luck.

I have also noticed that more important than hard work, is what you work on. You need to pick the “right” thing to work on else all your work will be in vain.

I have highlighted the word “right” as that is very subjective but a good framework for deciding what is “right” to do in my opinion is one from the Japanese popularly known as Ikigai which loosely translates to “living for a reason”.

According to Ikigai the “right” thing has four characteristics;

  1. You can do it or learn how to do it

  2. You like doing it

  3. The world (people) needs it

  4. They can pay you for it

But this raises another question, how will you find the “right” thing?

The answer is quite straightforward

Fuck around and find out

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Please don’t take my words literally because if you do that the only thing you will be finding out is how much inflation has affected the price of milk in today’s market.

Just do stuff, try doing stuff, do a lot of stuff – try new things every time. Don’t worry about it making sense in your journey, a great man once said

You can only connect the dots looking backwards

So don’t go around looking for stuff that matches these four characteristics before you try it – just keep trying stuff. However once you find your thing, you will know.

I’ll advice though that while you’re looking for the “right” thing if you find one that makes you money keep doing it while you’re still looking as survival is essential, but once you find your thing, go all in!

You need to be delusional

If you’re more religious than me you can call this faith – however I chose this so that everyone gets the gist. Listen, if you’re going to do hard things and live this life without too much worry you must have the ability to believe in that which you have not yet actualized, because how else are you going to shoot for the stars?

All the great things that have happened started with a delusional person or a group of them. It didn’t logically make sense yet in 1961 when America decided to put a man on the moon, they just believed with enough time and resources that they could do it – at that point “how” they would do it didn’t matter, in fact When President Kennedy asked Dr. Wernher von Braun the then director of NASA’s Marshall Space Flight Center, what it would take to build a rocket that could carry a man to the moon and bring him back safely to Earth, von Braun answered him in five words:

The will to do it.

I am not saying you need to believe you will put a man on the moon in your lifetime if you believe it, but when you look at your own life or situation there are little acts of faith or delusion you can indulge. No wonder Jesus said,

even if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you will say unto this mountain, “Move,” and it shall move

– you’d be surprised what you can do with a little delusion.

What is more interesting is that even Scientists think this way, the hypothesis comes before the proof in the scientific process, and what is a hypothesis if not a little delusion? The scientist first believes that that which he cannot yet prove is true – sometimes it takes even centuries before a proposed hypothesis is proven.

However, please note there’s a very thin line between having faith and “wishful thinking”, while I might be unable to make that line any clearer to you now, you should know it exists and know not to be wishfully thinking in the name of faith, it will not work.

Most times you have to believe you can do something and then do it before others believe it, sometimes you will forsee what others don’t and if you don’t believe it you won’t have enough willpower to actualize it, because the truth is that if you don’t act on it the thought will go to another person and when they actualize it you will recongize your own cowardice from afar. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said,

In every work of genius, we recognize our own rejected thoughts; they come back to us with a certain alienated majesty.

In truth, you might believe something that is indeed not true but I have also noticed that even if you believe a hoax in pursuing it you learn a lot of new things. For example, trying to put a man on the moon led to advancements in satellite technology for space missions which in turn led to improvements in global communications, including satellite TV, GPS, and weather forecasting – things we now use today in our daily lives – my point is even if they weren’t able to put a man on the moon the attempt to do so wouldn’t have been in vain.

So, O ye man of little faith – have some faith, at least have the courage to try without knowing exactly how yet.

You can always choose to not have an opinion

In a world overflowing with more information than one could ever consume and with social media amplifying the demand for instant reactions and opinions, it’s crucial to remember that you are not obligated to have an opinion on everything.

Sometimes, the wisest course of action is to observe, listen, and reflect without immediately forming a stance. This approach gives you the space to gather more information and avoid making hasty judgments. You should be capable of entertaining an idea, a thought, or a notion without accepting or denying it. Mastering the subtle art of not giving a fuck is key.

Choosing to not have an opinion can also be a form of mental self-care. It allows you to focus on what truly matters to you and not get bogged down by every passing debate or controversy. It’s perfectly okay to say, “I don’t have enough information to form an opinion on that,” or “I prefer to stay neutral on this topic.” This doesn’t make you indifferent or uninformed; it makes you thoughtful and discerning.

That’s it for now

Please note again that these are what I think right now and therefore subject to change with sufficient evidence – I’m just documenting my journey.

I also hope that in my next letter (or whatever this is), I will be able to give you some advice about relationships, but as for now, we do not have the capacity for such conversations 🙂‍↔️

See you at the town square!